14 Jun 2008

Man’s world

God made man. Then decided to improve on the model and made woman. We women choose not to rub this fact in and make the underdog of the human race feel worse.

We are far more complicated than even the most sensitive man can begin to comprehend. It’s not your fault, it’s just the way things are. So don’t falsely claim to understand, it bugs us. Just accept us. Revere us. Love us.

We live and thrive on love. Give us enough of it and we will move mountains for you. Deprive us of love and watch how we will make mountains out of mole hills.

We know you live and thrive on sex. And yes, we use it unabashedly to get what we want from you. We can’t help it, you really are too cute, innocent and easy to seduce. Oh and we enjoy the game!

Even though we are perfectly capable (and have no doubt we are) we like and want to be taken care of. We want our bags carried, our dinners paid for and that sleazy bastard ogling at our butts told off.

Women like, no NEED, presents from their men. So if we say ‘Lillie’s are my favorite’ or ‘I’ve just seen the perfect pair of heels’, don’t wait for us to ask twice.

Never never tell us that the gooey mudpie with chocolate ice-cream we’re about to bite into has a 1000 calories. You will be hated for not only killing our immense joy but will also be held responsible for the guilt and the jeans that don’t fit after we have gobbled down the cake just to prove our independence and disregard for you, your comments or the darned calories. (I warned you we are a complicated lot!).

By virtue of being smarter, women never get caught when they cheat and always know if their man cheats. We may, however choose to turn a blind eye till you ‘fess up. Because we are striving constantly to make you better men and also we are more forgiving and understanding, of course.

Yes, it’s true we discuss everything (from size to performance to even the sentimental nothings you whispered in our ears) with our girlfriends. You may be the love of our lives but they really are our soul mates. So be nice to them they know more than you want to mess with.

Women make great buddies. We know you need to go do the whole ‘boys thing’ from time to time but we also know that you share more with us than your supposed best friend. We love you for it. In fact we love you despite (and sometimes because of ) all your faults. So don’t change. It keeps it spicy!